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Monday, May 24, 2010

A PIG ON THE LOOSE

THE MOON MUST BE GETTING READY TO CHANGE, I HAVE HAD SOME WEIRD STUFF HAPPENING TO ME LATELY- OR MAYBE I'M JUST A MAGNET FOR THE WEIRD. ANYWAY I WAS DRIVING THROUGH A PART OF TOWN, THAT I USUALLY DON'T GO THROUGH(TAKING A SHORTCUT) WHEN I SAW WHAT I THOUGH WAS THE CUTEST DOG- YOU KNOW I LOVE A DOG- BUT IT HHAD THE CUTEST PINKY BEIGE FUR AND FLOPPY DOWN EARS- BUT WHEN I GOT CLOSER I REALIZED IT WAS A PIG- A PIG! IN THE CITY LIMITS! WELL, NOW YOU KNOW I NEED GLASSES IF I COULDN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE IN A PIG OR A DOG! I SLAMMED ON THE BRAKES AND JUST SAT THERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET- I COULD NOT BELEIVE WHAT I WAS SEEING. AFTER I REGAINED SOME COMPOSURE I WENT ABOUT MY WAY, BUT ON THE WAY BACK FROM MY ERRAND, I TOPPED A RISE IN THE STREET AND ALMOST HIT THE PIG AND TWO BOYS THAT WERE CHASING IT! oh, my i almost had a stroke! THE BOYS SAID THE PIG HAD RUINED THEIR YARD- I CAN ONLY IMAGINE! NOW I LOVE ANIMALS AND HE IS A DARLING PIG, BUT HE NEEDS TO BE RELOCATED TO THE COUNTRY. IF I HAD NOT HAD GOOD BRAKES, I MIGHT BE EATING PORK CHOPS FOR A WHILE! THE OTHER WEIRD THING- I DON'T HAVE A PICTURE OF THIS- BUT TRUST ME ONE DAY I AM GOING TO HAVE A STROKE IF THINGS DON'T SETTLE BACK DOWN! I WAS DRIVING ALONG AND A TRUCK SHOT OUT OF THE GAS STATION IN FRONT OF ME AND STOPPED AND THEN WENT BACKWARD AND BOUNCED ON THE CURB A FEW TIMES- WITH NO ONE IN IT! I AM TELLING YOU I AM GOING TO DO A COMMERCIAL FOR WHATEVER KIND OF BRAKES I HAVE, BECAUSE THEY WORK- AS THE MAN BEHIND ME WHO ALMOST REAR ENDED ME CAN ATTEST TOO. NOW I AM ALMOST AFRAID TO LEAVE HOME, WHO KNOWS WHAT OTHER ADVENTURE AWAITS ME OUT THERE?
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